Thursday, July 26, 2012

Stepping into Possibilities

I read through my last post and was not happy about how I sounded, so I'm adding my own counterpoint.

There are so many things I do now that are more fulfilling to me than I previously experienced in my life:

  • Biking on my stationary bike.
  • Exercising.
  • Writing this blog and doing research for my other blogs.
  • Creating delicious meals.
  • Laughing with friends and family.
  • Loving my husband.
  • Walking my dog.
  • Refining our lives.
  • Believing in magic and believing in my future.

I love life! I thank God every day for what He has given me, and for what He has taken away. If not for this Yin and Yang, I would not be the person in the mirror. I have more empathy, more understanding, less criticism, and more balance in my soul. As far as magic goes, I'm now taking a new medication which may help with my walking stride - Ampyra. It's helping to try and allow my nerve signals to complete their transmission through my legs and give me a better experience with 'a daily stroll'.

I'll be wishing on a star tonight;-)

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

But, you look great!

This has been a common statement I've heard from several people when I reveal my MS condition. What most people don't realize is that it's not an illness that presents itself clearly. What you can't see is what ails me:

  • Difficulty with balance
  • Loss of muscle strength in legs and arms
  • Flue-like conditions after each shot 3 times a week
  • Exhaustion 
  • Cramping and tingling in legs and feet
  • Inability to walk beyond a city block

Emotionally, it's the frustration of not being able to do the activities I used to love: riding bikes, golfing, taking long walks, running, skiing, exploring shops and sightseeing.

I've learned to adapt. I've learned to pace. I've learned to swallow the pain and fear associated with moments and tomorrow. But, in the end, I live with this new partner in my life, while still working to live fully in each day. Grace becomes a more pleasant companion, along with acceptance and hope for the future. After all, 'Tomorrow is another day...'