Wednesday, October 3, 2012

MS - The beginning I didn't believe (Part 1)

I was 26-years-old and having major conflicts with my boss that were followed by headaches that seared through my brain as a result. This went on for a few days. It was late Spring. my English boyfriend had stopped by for a weekend visit with his friends before they headed back to England, and I was happy (except for the conflict at work), and sad that my boyfriend was returning to England.

A few weeks later, the conflict with my boss started up again. He threatened me with the loss of my job if I didn't comply with his demands, and I was scared. I needed my job. I needed the income. My boyfriend sent a mail with an open invitation to visit him in England.

The headaches started again.  I didn't know what to do other than stress out, worry, and wait for 'the next shoe to drop'. I wanted to fly to England.

I went to bed one night shortly after the threat discussion, accompanied by a repeat of my migraine headache. I slept deeply after taking aspirin, and awoke headache-free in the morning. I got up overjoyed that my headache had stopped, and looked in the closet for clothes for the day. I rubbed my eyes and thought I still had 'sleep-eyes' - my vision was slightly blurred in my left eye. So I got into the shower believing I would wash out whatever film was in my eye. The blurring didn't go away.

Of course, at that point I became my own physician and determined that I had had a very bad sinus cold which affected my vision. (Amazing what bad roads self-diagnosis can lead you on...) So, I went into work and called my physician to let him know my own health prognosis.

He asked me to come in for an exam that afternoon. I wanted to fly to England.

I was somewhat annoyed that I would have to wait, but went anyway. I wanted to get rid of this stupid 'eye issue'. I was called in with no big wait (which made me happy as I had plans later that night to go shopping). After a rather lengthy eye exam by a partner doctor, another doctor, and my own doctor, the release statement to me was: 'You have no sinus infection. You have a condition known as 'Optic Neuritis'. You need to get an additional test (Cat Scan) for confirmation, but we're putting you an Steroids for the next two weeks to reduce the swelling of your Optic Nerve. This condition typically happens to women that fall into your age range.'


'This could also be a sign that you may develop MS sometime in the future.'

The walls came crashing down. I wanted to run away.