Germany had always been a refuge for me. My mother had been born and raised there, and my Grandmother and aunts were still alive, my cousins were great friends. So my flight from England to Germany seemed as natural as my prior trips from Boston to Germany in earlier years.
I landed in Frankfurt and hopped on a train to Fulda to see my Grandmother - my Oma. It was so wonderful to see her! She made schnitzel in honor of my arrival, and already had a list of Homeopathic Specialists she wanted me to see for evaluation. It was such a welcome relief to have family helping me find (what I hoped) were alternate theories to this terrible prognosis. You could say, I was in my initial stages of denial.
My visits with each specialist went forward successfully. They looked into my eye, confirming what the doctors at home had told me (inflammation of the Optic Nerve); but, they also gave me specific liquid vitamins to take with names I never heard before. They also told me to reduce my intake of bread, cheese, milk and sugar. Being in Germany, that was not an easy feat - the bread pastry, cheese and beer were gastric treats I craved. So, once again, I denied this reality, justifying my behavior by continuing to take medication and keeping the patch on my eye.
I stayed in Germany for 10 days, visiting relatives and friends, laughing and talking, and was able to regain the German accent I had in college. I also took a chance. I lifted the patch on my eye during the day to see if my vision had cleared up. To my complete surprise, certain areas in my vision were clearing up! I could see less of the milky wash that clouded my vision initially, and more of the life around me. My world was opening up again!!
Back to reality...