Wednesday, November 27, 2013

MS - Congratulations and Best Wishes (Part 7)

It was a very cold May that year. I had been racing through my wedding checklist, running back-and-forth from our condo to the Salem reception location, making arrangements with vendors for our wedding day. I never realized how much energy it took out of me to coordinate these details. But, I was still going. No new manifestations of MS had appeared. In fact, I didn't think about it at all.

The day we married, it was raining. All the guests had arrived from around the country.  I was thrilled and nervous, but excited about this next step in my life. I was crying. The hairdresser who was prepping my hair for the day said that rain was good luck. That was not the reason behind my tears. To this day, I'm not sure what prompted the tears - wedding, family, stress, or rain. Regardless,  a strange foreshadowing of events yet unknown.

The wedding was great! We celebrated the wedding and reception in a beautiful, historic building in Salem. Incredible location - great party - exciting band - wonderful guests! We partied until the early hours on Sunday, both collapsing from exhaustion in our room that morning. We woke with heavy heads, and packed up for our drive to Maine, honeymoon, and a little relaxation.

It rained on our honeymoon. Not the pretty, soft rain, but ugly torrents. We left early to drive home.

It was nice to be home again, and out of the business of planning our wedding, but the sea of work that met both of us was an unexpected surprise. In the remaining years between our rainy wedding and the turn of the Century, we would sell the condo at a loss, move into an apartment briefly, buy a beautiful, old, stately Victorian, change jobs and get on each other's nerves. I noticed that the stressful moments we were juggling, took me down a path of exhaustion that was new for me. I was frustrated, happy, sad, confused, lonely. I was looking for a key to start life moving in a positive direction, but felt like it didn't exist. All I saw was a maze of doors and locks, with no signs to tell me which one would be opened by the key.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

MS - Stress, Marriage, Wishful Thinking (Part 6)

Life was good. We had our condo, we had adopted two new kitties - Burt and Ernie, I was making decent money and my partner was making his move breaking into the Financial sector. He had finalized his Master's Degree and wanted to extend himself into an area where he could exercise his financial learnings and help people position themselves for the future. We were happy, but I was still waiting for the day when our relationship was more than 'loving partners'. I wanted to get married, but he was not as enthusiastic. So, we continued to live and enjoy life. But, I harbored a quiet stress.

About that time, I developed what I believed was Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. As a technical writer, I was always typing on the keyboard, so I didn't really pay much attention to it. I just got wrist supports and continued on. Looking back, I wonder if that was a signal that all was not completely balanced in my body.

I was getting busier at work. My partner and I  tried to make the most of our weekends, but I was always attached to a pager for customer emergencies. The demands on us were growing.

And then it happened. After 4 years of being together, he proposed! I was in shock, happy, and bewildered. After so many years of hearing his reasons for NOT wanting to get married, I could not understand his change of mind. But, he was true to his word - we set the date, and moved forward. I was still not presenting additional MS symptoms, so I started to believe I had beat the odds.

The day we set for our wedding was on a Saturday, the 13th of the month, in Salem Massachusetts. I don't think the odds were in my favor.